Almasy Get's Suspended
by Sabam
Summary: A song fic: Smash Mouth's All Star. Sefeir is back at Balamb and he's trying to get kicked out. Find out how his actions take toll on the FF8 cast members.


Sammy-Chan: I do not own FF8 it belongs to Squaresoft, I do not own this song … it belongs to Smash Mouth, so this is the song All Star by Smash Mouth … ON with the fanfictiON.  
  
  
  
_Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me  
  
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed  
  
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb  
  
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead_  
  
  


"Hey Chicken-Wuss! Where ya going? Mommy's makin' hotdogs?" Sefeir teased as he saw Zell stride by.  
  
"Screw off Sefeir! I'd beat the hell outta you right now!" Zell said advancing, but a gloved hand held his shoulder.  
  
"Let it go Zell …"Squall said annoyed at the two.  
  
"Why, why! Ain't it Puberty-Boy, wanna spar Squally-Wally?"  
  
"I wouldn't want you to get hurt …" Squall said dryly. "We all know you aren't the best."  
  
  


_Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming  
  
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running  
  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun  
  
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb  
_  
  


Sefeir scowled and sat back down on the bench. "Hell, I wanna get outta this damn place."  
  
Just then, the bell drilled in their ears causing each student to sigh and pick up their books.  
  
"Aw man …" Sefeir picked up his notebook and headed for the elevator, pushing his way through the mob of first years. Sefeir shoved the 9 year olds aside saying "Veterans first. Get out of the way kid."  
  
"Sir … excuse me!" Said a particularly nerdy 9-year-old, "But the Balamb law states that no pushing is permitted."  
  
"Listen kid, you're young and shit, don't waste your childhood telling me, someone that could make you talk outta your ass for the rest of you life, what to DO!"  
  
  


_So much to do so much to see  
  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets  
  
You'll never know if you don't go  
  
You'll never shine if you don't glow  
_  
  


He pushed his way through to the main elevator, squeezing him and his gunblade in, accidentally slicing a 16-year-old girl's mini-skirt.  
  
"Hello!" He whistled at the girl smirking.  
  
The younger girl shrieked and ran out of the elevator, "Pervert!!!"  
  
"That wasn't very nice, ya know?" Rajin commented.  
  
"Hell, I'd do anything to get out of this dump, if the expel me, all the better!" He said.  
  
"TOUGH LUCK." Fujin said.  
  
"Hey Fuu, it's called the dirty way out!" Sefeir smiled, "If I can't be a SeeD then I'm not staying in here."  
  
"Ya gotta start by obeying the rules first, ya know? Be a model student, ya know?"  
  
"Screw it!" Sefeir said as they reached the 2nd floor of Balamb.  
  
  


_Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
  
And all that glitters is gold  
  
Only shooting stars break the mold  
_  
  


Sefeir took his place next to Fujin in Weapon's class, the class that Quistis now taught. The newly appointed Quistis Trepe entered the room and gave them all a warning glance telling them all that she was PMSed. Sefeir smirked, another way to cause trouble.  
  
"Ok, ok, sit down! We'll be looking at the functions of distance weapons … get out your text books."  
  
"Aw, c'mon Quisty, you promised!" Sefeir shouted out smirking.  
  
"Wha'? Almasy, what's your problem today?"  
  
"You promised me you'd tell the class how good I am today!"  
  
"Yeah? In what?" Quistis said annoyed.  
  
"In bed of course …"  
  
The class gasped but Trepe wouldn't let herself be had, she smirked a plan of her own and retorted, "The key to good sex is a good-looking guy, you can't change that Sefeir."  
  
"OUCH!" Fuujin said smiling slightly.  
  
"Sefeir … I know you're an asshole and everything, ya know … but-"  
  
"And BEING that I gotta get myself a detention …" Sefeir said still smirking.  
  
  


_It's a cool place and they say it gets colder  
  
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older  
  
But the meteor men beg to differ  
  
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture  
_  
  


The noon bell rang and students swarmed into the cafeteria waiting for a hotdog. Zell scowled at the end of the line and to make matters worse, Sefeir bumped himself to the front of the line.  
  
"Heeeeey!!!" The martial-artist complained.  
  
"Muwaha …" Sefeir said smirking, "Two hotdogs please …" He smiled at the cafeteria lady.  
  
"Alrighty sonny …" She said as she piled two hotdogs on a paper plate.  
  
"Mmmm, how these hotdogs smell so GOOD I'll bet they're delicious, I'm so LUCKY to have gotten some …" He practically screamed so Zell could hear.  
  
Sefeir made his way over to Squall and Rinoa's table, trying to interrupt the romantic moment, he smiled as he pulled a chair to sit right between the two.  
  
"Hey Rinoa, you're looking pretty sexy today … Squall ever noticed she's got such kissable lips, such a-"  
  
He never did have time to finish his sentence as Squall jumped from his chair, sending it flying backwards and grabbed Sefeir's collar.  
  
"A wise monkey NEVER monkies with another monkey's monkey … NEVER." He hissed.  
  
"Alrighty there, Puberty Boy, don't get a boner about it …"  
  
"Fuck you Sefeir …" Rinoa stuck her tongue out.  
  
"Tut, tut, what would your daddy say if he heard you swearing … Ms. Heartilly isn't expected to swear …"  
  
"Yes, well YOU are EXPECTED to have a dick … not EVERYONE meets expectations."  
  
Sefeir scowled as he released himself from Commander Leonheart's grasp and walked out of the cafeteria, leaving his hotdogs behind. Zell strutted to his plate.  
  
"Anyone gonna have these?" He asked nodding to the hotdogs.  
  
  


_The ice we skate is getting pretty thin  
  
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim  
  
My world's on fire how about yours  
  
That's the way I like it and I never get bored  
_  
  


"Sefeir, why don't you try to have a decent life … as in, no causing trouble? We could go live in FH and-" Fuujin said in her normal tone of voice.  
  
"As much as I would like to profit that you are using more then one word in your sentences, I don't WANT to … I wanna cause CHAOS wherever I go …  
  
"Wanna call everyone a mofo, ya know?"  
  
"Wanna crash the ending show!" The two boys started chanting.  
  
"That's the way we live our lives!" They said in chorus.  
  
"Listen, we've caused so much trouble here, we're about to get kicked out, the ice's getting thin … so we can finally get expelled from this place!" Sefeir laughed and kissed Fuujin on the cheeks, "We'll get outta here soon Fuu!"  
  
  


_Somebody once asked could you spare some change for gas  
  
I need to get myself away from this place  
  
I said yep what a concept  
  
I could use a little fuel myself_  
  
  


"Almasy, I've heard about all the trouble you've caused here in one day!" Cid called "I can't BELIEVE I actually accepted you back in here! What is it that you're searching for here?"  
  
"I want to get out of this place …" Sefeir muttered. " I want a car, I want gas and I want out …"  
  
"Fine! You've come to realize what I've been trying to tell you! OUT!!! OUT!!! Oh yah … here's 20 gil don't spend it in one spot now …" Cid said hurrying him out of garden and slipping him a 20 gil.  
  
Sefeir smirked, he had done it, but not quite … here was the final blow. He grabbed his two companions and darted up the Balamb Garden tunnel leading to the parking lot. Jumping in the near by "Mission car" and igniting the engine and stepping on the gas, sending the car screeching forward and out of garden. Irvine who was doing … umm … something in the parking lot got up wearing, strangely, only a pair of pants and started yelling at the vehicle.  
  
"Sorry babe, I gotta see Cid about something, we'll continue this later." He said running out of the parking lot.  
  
  


_And we could all use a little change  
  
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming  
  
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running  
  
Didn't make sense not to live for fun  
  
  
_

"Let him take it … " Cid smiled. "We only live one life."  
  
"Yah but I-" Irvine stuttered.  
  
"That was where me and Rinoa first had-"  
  
"Shut up Squall you're being an-"  
  
"I had a lot of caffeine today and no one is noticing!!!"  
  
An odd silence fell upon the room and Zell decided to speak up.  
  
"Yes, we did notice Selphie … "  
  
"What I'm trying to say if, live your life to the fullest, don't ALWAYS obey the rules …" Cid smiled.  
  
"Yah … that makes total sense." The FF8 team said and left the room.  
  
"Oh … BY THE WAY!! If any of you's EVER have un-protected sex I'll kill you all!" Cid called after them.  
  
  


_Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb  
  
So much to do so much to see  
  
So what's wrong with taking the back streets  
  
You'll never know if you don't go  
  
You'll never shine if you don't glow  
_  
  


"Hey Rinoa …" Squall said mischievously.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Wanna have sex?"  
  
"Ok!"  
  
"UN-PROTECTED sex?"  
  
"He DID say not always to live by the rules … OK!"  
  
END  
  
Sammy-Chan: Ok, ok, ok! That was a bit QUEER I know but heeeeey!!! I hope you liked it R&R!!!


End file.
